One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
