"it" just moved
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
