he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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