Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I need a beard to bite.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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