as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
