what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
