I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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