There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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