Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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