i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
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He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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So much rum. So many feels.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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