my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
