A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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