I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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