Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
