Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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