i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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