No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
