our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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