I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
