How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
