So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
