Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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