I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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