Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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