sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Randomize
