I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
