i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
do herpes really smell.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
