Im at strip club and am horny
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
