That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
