dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
