Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
