bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
