she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
