Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
