MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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