whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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