So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize