Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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