what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
