if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
