I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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