i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
