What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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