look no pants
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
