Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
