pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
