You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
