Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
