so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
