ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
