matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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