Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
