that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
