is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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