Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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