happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
