i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i now understand why vodka
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ok first of all what the fuck
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
