I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
