Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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