its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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