my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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