last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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