I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
third nipple confirmed
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
