Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
