What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
