Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
