U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
