you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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